


A Memory Unwanted

by OfStrangeShadows



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Headcanon, Memories, Minor Original Character(s), Non-Explicit Nudity, Solavellan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 17:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2740913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfStrangeShadows/pseuds/OfStrangeShadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas liked to keep her from having nightmares by entering her dreams in secret, except it wasn't always dreams that came to her in sleep. Sometimes it was memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Memory Unwanted

He’d like to say that he had found himself within her dreams without any interference on his part, but that wasn’t even close to the truth. He would purposefully go into her dreams to keep nightmares at bay with the presence of himself. Everyone knew what her waking hours entailed - death, destruction, overall stress and responsibility - and he thought it unfair for her sleeping hours to be cruel to her as well. Often times, he would stay personally out of her dreams until they seemed to take a turn for the worse, stepping in to take her somewhere in the Fade that he had already been to and explored. If she ever noticed the lack of nightmares and how often he visited her, she never said anything or acted differently. Solas hoped it would stay that way.

So this night, when he gracefully awakened within her sleeping mind, he found it surprising that she was conjuring up a memory instead of a dream. It appeared to have occurred when she was much younger; vallaslin a bloody mess of lines and healing tissue on her beautiful face. The idea that she could have _wanted_ something like that, actually took pride in the “achievement” of getting it and the pain it caused, twisted sickeningly in his stomach. But she looked happy, flinching occasionally when her smile grew too large and caused crinkles in her newly tattooed forehead, as she walked within the forest.

He wondered what she could be doing alone, articles of clothing resting over her arm, when the sound of rushing water met his pointed ears. He turned from her image to take in the large waterfall falling into a small pond, creating small rainbows where the light hit just right. It was a beautiful sight, especially when she entered the image to set her clothing down at the water’s edge, bending carefully to keep from falling headfirst into the sparkling pool. She sat down against a slightly damp rock, sighing pleasantly as her hands moved to unlace the leather armor wrapped tightly around her shoulders.

Solas knew then that he should leave, as this was a memory he shouldn’t see. Though the idea that she would remember something as mundane as bathing under a waterfall piqued his interest. It was impossible that something of some importance was not going to happen, he knew. Memories did not come to dreams unless they had some kind of relevance. He watched her gingerly set the armor pieces next to the fresh clothes, going to unlace her boots when she was satisfied with their placement, and resolutely decided to stay.

He had never allowed himself the pleasure to watch her undress, eyes honing in on her dainty hands when they finished unlacing her boots to go and unwrap her hair. It fell gracefully past her shoulder blades and she shook a hand through it, taking out some knots and trying to placate the slight wave given to it by being in braids for so long. He watched in admiration, enraptured by the way her hair caught the light and held it, wondering why she never took it down in Skyhold.

But when she moved to reach for the hem of her shirt, the silky skin of her stomach revealed to him with every inch she exposed, all thoughts of her hair and Skyhold went flying from his mind. He knew it wrong to peek on something so intimate, so peaceful in a way that he had never experienced, but couldn’t seem to tear himself away. Even when they took communal washes after hours and hours of traveling together, he had never thought to watch her like this. It had been something all of her companions had agreed on: no one was to disrespect the Inquisitor in such a way as to watch her naked without her knowledge or approval. It seemed best at the time, when they had all first met and began traveling with the beautiful elf, but now he couldn’t think of anything that he regretted more.

Solas turned from the picture of her the moment her shirt caught slightly on her breasts, cursing himself for his curiosity. He listened with his breath held to the shifting of fabric and to her soft sighs as her dirty and exhausted flesh met the comfortable heat of the air. He heard the water part as she stepped in, shivering with an audible gasp at the chill of it. She seemed to ignore it beyond the slight gasp, however, because she continued to walk through it, only making another sound when she reached the waterfall. She shrieked in discomfort from how cold it was, laughing at her reaction and as it tried to push her down beneath its weight. Solas desperately wished to turn back and enjoy the sight of her and her happiness, but stayed facing the endless forest of trees that surrounded the pond.

A comfortable silence fell around him save for the rushing water and natural sounds of the forest as she continued with her bathing. He could hear her small humming, enjoying the soft lull of it against the harsh sounds of the waterfall, when another voice abruptly joined in. It was much deeper and sang the lyrics, surprising Solas enough to turn around and see who the stranger was. He appeared to be Dalish as well, vallaslin stark against his skin.

He did his best to keep his eyes from the Inquisitor, but when her own voice joined the stranger’s in a beautiful crescendo, he couldn’t help but turn to her. She was just as beautiful as he thought she would be, supple body glistening as she took a step forward and out of the shade of the waterfall. Her hair fell enticingly around her shoulders and down her back and the hunger for her deep in his stomach sought for his attention. She did not hide herself, something he couldn’t decide to be a blessing or curse, instead cocking a hip out and placing a fist on it as the stranger finished the song.

“Though I certainly enjoy your company, don’t you think it forward to see me like this?” She asked playfully, smiling as he stopped at the edge of the water and bit his lip. Solas knew that look, probably very close to his own at the moment, and it certainly wasn’t that of a man who wasn’t enjoying the view.

“Oh, you wound me. Like I haven’t seen you like this before and like it will be the last, emma lath.” The stranger replied, kneeling to start to unlace his own boots. He kept his piercing gaze held on her. Solas knew then that this was a very dangerous memory. He had no place here.

“Still, we are to be bonded within the end of the month. Very forward of you.” The way her mouth quirked and the drop in her voiced showed how very little she actually cared and Solas’s guilt sunk further in his stomach.

The stranger paused in his movements and looked from her and to the ground. He seemed hesitant when he looked back to her, eyes filled with some indiscernible emotion, “That’s why I came.”

The taste of a nightmare sparked on his tongue, yet Solas did not see anything that could possibly cause this to turn into something so bitter in his mouth. The Inquisitor straightened, playful look dissolving into one of worry. He could see the goose bumps decorating her skin and she moved to cross her arms, rubbing them to keep the chill at bay. The stranger continued, fingers working again at the thick laces of his boots, “We’ve been sent to hunt. Within a fortnight, you and I shall be separated for some time.”

“And the ceremony will not be until after.” She drawled, disappointedly looking down at the sparkling water surrounding her ankles. Though the idea obviously disturbed her, Solas couldn’t help but find it endearing when she kicked at the liquid in frustration. She looked back up just as the stranger kicked off his boots and rolled his pants up, happily stating, “Well, we’ll just have to wait! We’ve waited this long. We can manage!”

The stranger smiled as well and Solas couldn’t deny that he had a certain pleasing look to him. He could certainly understand how the Inquisitor fell in love with such a charming looking man, but he was confused at her words. Had they been engaged for some time? The stranger took a step into the pond and towards her, laughing when she turned away from him with a small huff and an impudent lift of her head. The stranger mimicked the look that Solas could feel on his own face, enjoying the plump curve of her ass and lithe muscles of her back. He averted his eyes after getting his fill, chastising himself for carnally taking advantage of such an intimate moment between the two for himself.

“Now, just because you’re my best friend and I’m optimistic for our bonding does not mean I’m open to you interrupting my bathing time.” She said, peeking over her shoulder to see the stranger’s reaction before quickly moving her head to stare forward with an indignant pout in her lips. This was not his right to watch, but Solas could feel his heart stutter when the thought of how much he loved this woman crossed his mind. It sent him reeling for a moment, but he shoved it away for another time when he wasn’t watching the Inquisitor interact with a man she was going to marry.

The stranger rolled his eyes and laughed, close enough to place a hand on her shoulder and spin her around to face him. She smiled, eyes crinkling in joy, and he gave her a quick kiss. She responded back in kind, kneeling up to wrap her arms around his neck and give him a proper kiss. The man pulled her closer with a clothed arm around her bare lower back, keeping his hands from touching her skin.

And curse him, but Solas thought they looked good together. Perhaps it was the happiness they exuded with every breath and touch or the utter adoration in their eyes for each other, but he certainly thought that they seemed to deserve each other. A selfish sadness made home in his heart as he watched them shift to take in breaths, pushing their foreheads together to laugh. He saw her lips move but could not make out the words and then the entire scene shifted.

Suddenly he was standing in the center of a Dalish camp, the Inquisitor not feet from him. She was on her tiptoes, trying to see over the heads of the crowd in front of her. She spotted someone or something that caught her interest and her eyes widened. She began to frantically push through the crowd, reaching the front just in time to grab a passing hunter. Her mouth moved quickly and the man nodded, allowing himself to be forced from the apparent celebration. Solas followed them in quite confusion.

Away from the loud cheering of the clan, she turned quickly on the man and put her hands to her hips, “I know that he likes to make me wait on his arrival. So, where is he this time?” She didn’t look happy at all, but the foot tapping playfully against the ground gave her mood away. The man froze, shoulders suddenly tense as he dragged his eyes from hers and to the dirt. He said nothing, yet her mouth softened and she shook her head slowly.

Her beautiful eyes swelled with tears and a broken sob left her throat, “No, no, you have to be lying.” The man shook his head slowly and the tears in her eyes met the skin of her cheeks. She shook her head again, mouth screwed up as she breathed in deeply to keep her composure. She was always so strong, Solas thought. He never understood how she could be that way. The man before her apologized with his head bowed and went to leave, but she grabbed his arm. “Tell me...” She trailed off, taking another deep breath. “It was quick. Please, tell me if he was in pain.”

“I don’t think…” He stopped before meeting her eyes. “He last spoke of you and your eyes. He loved you.” The hand on his arm dropped slowly and she turned from him. The man moved away, looking her over before leaving entirely. Solas stepped in at that moment, putting a soothing hand on her shoulder.

“Come.” He whispered into her ear. “Let’s go somewhere else, shall we?”

* * *

She did not seem to remember the memory when she awoke; bounding into his study to kiss his cheek in greeting. The smile she wore, the one he saw her wear in her memory, put an ache in his heart. She was in love with him, he realized as she chatted amicably in his ear after flopping down onto his lap, and she was happy with him.

And yet, he thought with a heaviness settling in his chest, he would still break her heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Emma lath = My love
> 
> I thought to explore this some more, but I felt like adding anything else would kind of ruin the mood. Sorry if you disagree!  
> I also thought to put her name in (my Inquisitor's name is Nenai), but I felt like putting her name would ruin the connection between the reader and their own image of the inquisitor. (Sorry if your inquisitor has short hair and a tattoo not on the forehead! I wasn't willing to change on those two things. Sorry again!)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! If you did and would like to get to know me and see lots of Dragon Age stuff, follow me on [tumblr](http://nenai-lavellan.tumblr.com/)! Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment! :)


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